Tonight I had an unexpected dinner with someone I barely know. I bumped into her on the upper east side and just asked if she wanted to get dinner. I've only hung out with her once at a friend's bday dinner and we seemed to get along. She turned the tables on me and invited me to her apt where she and her cousin cooked me a Korean dinner. Mmm Mmm good! It was a great way to get to know her. Soonafter leaving her apt, I felt this deep painful pressure in the bowels below and I quickly began to sweat because I realized that only prescious minutes remained before a very messy disaster below the belt. Hopping into a cab and getting to my apt would take too long and there were no restaurants around. I walked calmly into a random apt building and asked a maintenance worker if the building had a first floor restroom and after looking me over with some disgust, he pointed to a corridor. I walked briskly and found the porcelain throne that would save my night. I was probably 90 seconds away from one of the most embarrassing moments of my life in NYC. I was having bowel issues all day so it wasn't the food I ate tonight, but a byproduct of the drinking last night.
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